Dirty Weasels

Okay, I get the hint. I'll blog more, but let's start slowly. I don't want to sprain something.

The other day in a mentoring session my friend Lora and I lead, a group of students asked us over for some help with their skit. They were looking for ideas for a ridiculously absurd product that no one would want. Lora suggested non-alcoholic beer. Reasonable. What did I suggest, you ask? Well, I said the first thing that sprang to mind. Weasel Shampoo.

Yeah, I got called a weirdo. But that turned into the funniest damn skit out of the whole class.

Professor Insanity

I was going through my notes from last semester and I decided to make a list of things my professor said that were weird and/or funny enough for me to write down. No promises.

Biochem - I bet you didn't think biochemists were funny! Yeah, you were right.

"You don't have to remember this stuff. This is just me talking."

"Chlorophyll... more like BORE-ophyll!" (Whoops, sorry. That didn't come from that class.)

And there was one more about alcohol and a certain other professor but I'm guessing it was a 'you had to be there' joke and even though I was, it wasn't very funny.

Statistics - My prof was seriously crazy in love with stats. If it was a boy she'd totally marry it and have, like, a million of its babies. There should be a medication for this.

A speech that boiled down to "Babies will die if you don't learn statistics." It went on for upwards of twenty minutes and I didn't have the space to transcribe the entire thing.

"Do not use statistics to take over the world."

"We like just a bunch of dots."

"Remember that I danced today. This stuff is important."

Ethics - Taught by three profs, one of whom was a doctor with that weird doctor humor, one history professor who asked me to please let me allow some other people to answer but when I shut up, no one else talked at all so take THAT, and a woman who sat in the front of the room and just kind of wrote stuff down. Some sort of note-ninja.

"I'm just a humble whatever I am."

"We neglect our navels at our own peril."

"Yeah. He was a dope fiend."

"Wow, you're really exhilarated. What, did you just have a baby or something?"

"We could talk about mitochondria all day."


Yeah, I guess I thought there were more. I guess I make more fun in my head than I transcribe on paper. We could go into the crazy things VU profs said in class, but there's seriously not enough internet for that.